On being a mother

Well, I have been feeling sorry for myself for about, mmm... who knows when, and all because I am about to turn 40!

A few nights ago I had a conversation with my husband. I was crying as I was trying to explain to him how sad, disappointed angry and so on I was at not having accomplished much in my life.He listened patiently as I sobbed and told him how I had no passion no motivation in my life
How when I was a Veterinary Assistant, I did not mind working 14 hours on days when someone called in sick,how I would go home tired but with a really good feeling, like I had done something important. I felt a big sense of accomplishment.Why I even singlehandedly, saved the life of a cat once! Those were the days when I did something worthwhile.

We were laying in bed while this conversation happened. After I was done talking he told me in a tone of voice that sounded like a mixture of anger and sadness something that hit me hard.
I can not quote him verbatim but he said something like how he does not understand why it is that being a mother has so little value.how being a mother is the most important job in the world and yet people treat it like it is nothing.He turned over and went to sleep.

Do I remember the name of that cat? No. I am also pretty sure that, if still alive, this cat and the other pets I helped get better,has no memory of what happened a long time ago and they probably do not care.

Now, I am responsible for 3 lives.Three individuals who are depending on me to guide and teach them how to live in this crazy world.Everything I do or say has a lifetime impact on them.

Wow I do have the most important job job in the world!


Beth said...

So true, my friend! Glad you made the realization.

Buffy said...